The Antique Rug
Kramer starts eating snow instead of drinking tap water, claiming that it’s “fresh from nature, without the impurities of mankind’s industry.” When one of Elaine’s coworkers takes the second-to-last doughnut at a meeting, she flies into a rage: Since no one can take the last doughnut without appearing rude, whoever takes the second-to-last doughnut is truly the rude one. George’s girlfriend spills wine on her antique rug, and he offers to get it cleaned — despite her protests — to prove his worth. However, unaware of the difference, he takes it to a regular carpet cleaner instead of an antique carpet cleaner, and under the intense heat and pressure of the washer, the 300-year-old rug utterly evaporates. Jerry types up a new set of jokes. When he makes a typo, he finds himself unable to hit the “backspace” key, instead hitting all the keys that surround it. The more he tries to correct his errors, the more mistakes he makes, until he has inadvertently written several more pages of jokes, backwards. As soon as he realizes the amazing thing that’s happened, he accidentally deletes the entire document. Kramer comes down with a case of mercury poisoning.