The Crying Game
Jerry tells a pun so terrible that as the audience boos, hundreds of ghosts seep through the walls to join in. Elaine realizes she can get away with almost anything if she starts crying when caught. She does it so often that she completely dries out her tear ducts, and has to use prescription drops to keep her eyes lubricated. While strolling through the park with his new girlfriend, George gets hit in the leg by an errant soccer ball kicked by a child. He angrily tries to kick it back at the kid, but only manages to skid it about ten feet sideways, into someone else’s leg. They angrily kick it back at him, hitting him in the gut. His rage mounting, he winds up and kicks the ball again, only to have it sail high over the child’s head and strike an elderly woman in the face. They continue on like this the entire evening and into the next day. A crowd gathers, mesmerized by George repeatedly failing to kick a ball at a child. Both eventually die of starvation. A statue is erected on the spot in their memory, and children gather from far and wide to kick soccer balls at it. Kramer finally overcomes his misgivings and tries LSD, but experiences no change to his normal thought processes.