The Telesensory Perceptor
Elaine is at first impressed, then perplexed, and finally vexed when her boyfriend somehow always manages to pick up the phone before it actually rings.
Jerry scoffs at an age-old question. “Of course Mindy’s sells more cheesecake. Who buys strudel? What is this, Dusseldorf?” After a moment’s pause, he whips out a reporter’s notebook and scribbles the word, “strudeldorf”.
George, deciding he needs a little more magic in his life, blindly follows a man singing a song from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. It is only after the incinerator door slams behind him that George realizes the revamped lyrics go, “Come with me, and you’ll be, in a world of white-hot conflagration…”
Newman opens his door one morning and lets out an unending, bloodcurdling shriek when he sees, dead and lifeless upon his doorstep, a lean, slow, short man’s body.